you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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