she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
