Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
