It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize