last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize