I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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