I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
