Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize