dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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