he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
