I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
