if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
