I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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