help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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