It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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