I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
