Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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  (760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v
  Replies (26) Good night (10602) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..

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  (425): there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room.. http://tfl.nu/dpny
  Replies (17) Good night (5658) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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  (207): Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices http://tfl.nu/clic
  Replies (34) Good night (7282) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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  (405): She's like the pied piper of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/2bl6
  Replies (13) Good night (3519) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

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  (850): I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea http://tfl.nu/d42k
  Replies (18) Good night (5603) Bad night (841)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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  (630): yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed http://tfl.nu/06jt
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (2839) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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  (908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04
  Replies (3) Good night (1500) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..

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  (505): You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through.. http://tfl.nu/mwok
  Replies (9) Good night (1559) Bad night (548)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.

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  (803): yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham. http://tfl.nu/2zl2
  Replies (4) Good night (2087) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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  (413): Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn http://tfl.nu/nu2n
  Replies (8) Good night (652) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.

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  (913): Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high. http://tfl.nu/x992
  Replies (7) Good night (627) Bad night (1358) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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  (970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

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  (617): The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie. http://tfl.nu/3kb9
  Replies (16) Good night (1130) Bad night (352)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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  (774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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  (678): The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny http://tfl.nu/ejq7
  Replies (4) Good night (169) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt

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