I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
