WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
