I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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