clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
