she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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