Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
