OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize