Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
