You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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