Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
