my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
