I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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