Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My cat gives me a boner
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
