Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
