Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you inspire me to be a worse person
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
