i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just threw up on my dentist
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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