so that wasnt chicken after all
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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