No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
