I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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