this just has baby written all over it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
