so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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