Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
