Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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