I want to stick my p in your. b.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
