Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
