I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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