He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
