it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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