Me too!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
