Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize