Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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