just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
