8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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