Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
