so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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