They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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