nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did I show you my penis last night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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