why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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