I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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