go do what you do best...puke behind churches
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
